Cazza Whatever!

Today there is sadness I'm often quite happy I feel quite alive My friends and my family, my faith are my life It's natural to laugh and be child like and fun I choose to see joy through the life of my son But Today there is sadness Today there is loss Today I feel weighed down and tired out and cross Today there are burdens  Today will be long Today there is sadness Today she is gone

I am finally admitting that I'm finding life hard. My mum has died. My fish has died. And a bit of my drive and motivation has died too. But I'm finding life in other things. My family immediate and extended, my friends and my creativity. I have found that through opening up I have become vulnerable and full of pain, so much so that tiny little things are painful. But through my opening up others have too, and that is soothing and healing. Everyone has different views on mental health and dealing with it. This is mine right now.  My favourite things  Raindrops on roses and sunshine for running Sleep with no wake ups so I don't feel done in Thoughts of free time once the microwave pings These are a few of a my favourite things  Hair with no sick in (and clothes for that matter) Facebook debacles and  3am  natters Strictly, X Factor and creative springs These are a few of my favourite things When I'm lonely When I'm anxious When I'

Most of you will know that I'm pregnant with our first baby. Actually I'm now overdue by 5 days and quite frankly I'm getting fed up with waiting!! I've done all the things people have told us to do but no lasting signs as yet, and my question every day is "why ARE we waiting?"  I have always been blessed by the mnemonic WAIT that God revealed to me years ago; Will  Arrive  In  Time  and I know in our case baby simply has to come out eventually- there isn't any more room for them! But the problem is I'm struggling to enjoy and utilise the waiting time choosing instead to wallow in feelings of frustration and impatience! The helpful thing is that as we approach the Easter weekend it makes me think about the wait that Jesus had before He died. People always say that Jesus death was the ultimate sacrifice but I disagree- I think His LIFE was the ultimate sacrifice. After all He lived almost His whole life knowing that He was born

Most of you will know that I'm pregnant with our first baby. Actually I'm now overdue by 5 days and quite frankly I'm getting fed up with waiting!! I've done all the things people have told us to do but no lasting signs as yet, and my question every day is "why ARE we waiting?"  I have always been blessed by the mnemonic WAIT that God revealed to me years ago; Will  Arrive  In  Time  and I know in our case baby simply has to come out eventually- there isn't any more room for them! But the problem is I'm struggling to enjoy and utilise the waiting time choosing instead to wallow in feelings of frustration and impatience! The helpful thing is that as we approach the Easter weekend it makes me think about the wait that Jesus had before He died. People always say that Jesus death was the ultimate sacrifice but I disagree- I think His LIFE was the ultimate sacrifice. After all He lived almost His whole life knowing that He was born

Today I have excelled at baby brainitus by convincing myself that the clocks went forward!! Dutifully waking up several times (more due to my little hitch-hiker than me) I faithfully checked the clocks reminding myself that I must add an hour to whatever they said. Eventually at 5.30am it finally dawned on me that as none of the clocks had changed at all and after a wake up call from a friend on FB I was plain and simply wrong!    The thing is today is a mixed up day for me emotionally too, this year more than ever before. As I wake up to another Mother's Day I am flooded with mixed feelings; I am going to be a mummy any day now having waited 7 long years, but have no idea when our arrival will appear, so many of my lovely and precious friends are still longing to be mums and aren't and my own mum feels like she's slipping away every day although in reality she is very much still here. I am aware that for all of you today there will be a mix of emotions too; celebr